I have asked my wife and family for and received forgiveness and have entered counseling.
I promised you as part of my campaign that I would never ever issue a Presidential Proclamation without having first consumed a Brutal Bitter.
I sinned and sent out the Roguel Prize and Rogue Lariat awards sober.
Never again. A corrected version is enclosed.
I apologize to all those who were embarrassed by my sobriety. Most of all, I apologize to John’s Beard and have the Nation’s artists creating a t-shirt in its honor.
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In honor of Dr. Chris White’s recent discovery of Yeast in John Maier’s beard, I have decided to present him with the Roguel Prize in Follicular Archaeology. Dr. White received a PhD in biochemistry from U.C. San Diego. He is a member of the Siebel Institute faculty and author of the book, Yeast – The Practical Guide to Beer Fermentation.
In honor of Charlie Papazian’s important contributions, namely his seminal article, Body Harvest, I am awarding him Rogue Lariat. Known as the Father of American Homebrewing, Mr. Papazian is the President of the Brewers Association and founder of the Great American Beer Festival. His iconic book, The Complete Joy of Home Brewing, is often the sole source of home brewing information for novice brewers.
In recognition of distinguished beards everywhere, a commemorative John “More Hops” Maier bobble-head and tap handle have been commissioned. The Beard will also be on the 19 Hopoe and on a $0.37 stamp.
