Thursday, August 11th, 2011
Tuesday, August 9th, 2011
Tuesday, February 1st, 2011
Tuesday, January 18th, 2011
Tuesday, January 11th, 2011
Thursday, January 6th, 2011
Monday, November 15th, 2010
Monday, July 12th, 2010
My Predecessor left me a hell of a mess. All bad things are his fault — the good stuff is mine.
I want to be clear: I will not fulfill any of my campaign promises. I just said those things to get elected.
The first act of my administration will be to order the Nation’s Postmaster General to put my face on a stamp and the Director of Currency to do the same thing on the Nation’s currency — a $100.00 hopo. And put Al Jorgenson’s likeness on a condom in honor of his screwing up the Nation.
Second, we will abolish term limits so I can serve forever.
Third, all Nation members will receive a free bumper sticker.
Fourth, passports will soon be available at Rogue Embassies in Issy, Seattle, Chi, St. Louis, NYC, PA, Denver, PDX, Newport, Eugene, Honolulu, Boise, and Off-Shore Butch. Call or email for a list.
I am moving the Department of Agriculture to the GYO Micro Barley Farm near Tygh Valley, population 224. They will maintain a Chatoe and Hop in Bed at the GYO Hopyard near Independence. We will continue our efforts to save the Terroir of hops and barley one acre at a time by GYO.
Shortly we will fill positions left vacant by my predecessor.
Secretary of Transportation
Secretary of State
Assistant – Assistant Attorney General
Speaker of the House
Department of Tourism & Culture
Secretary of the Treasury
Department of Immigration
Department of Employment
Department of Economic Development
Department of Health
Please send resumes to my Chief of Staff, Stacey Maier, at 2320 OSU Drive, Newport, OR 97365 or Stacey@rogue.com
Progress on our United Nations application has been slow. It’s my predecessor’s fault.
We now have embassies, farms, stills, breweries, sports teams, stamps, currencies, a zero crime rate, a balanced budget, voting by mail, a university, scholarship, no taxes, an open foreign policy, mass transit, recycling, uniforms, a navy, term limits, no king or queen yet, fuel production, traffic, police, judges, rules, root beer, health insurance, soup kitchen, cabinet. In fact, a lot of them — bank, job fairs, export/import, Bailout Program, Consumer Protection Agency, Citizenship Card, Mag, Women Can Vote + Work + Drive, Newspaper, Official bird, etc., chef, poet laureate, taxi, Gambling, Bingo, Trivia, Bull, Cheese, Shoe Manufacturing, Sprinkler System, Flag, Bridges, Free Speech, Ports, Docs, Capital, A White and Brown Chatoe, a museum, a library, a university, a film company, record company, coins and currency, passports, national ID cards, stamps, license plates, a flag, a constitution, uniforms, shoes, a creamery, a national pastime, a literary journal, a bakery, a hop farm, a pledge, and boxer shorts. All are the indicia of a Nation which should lead to the approval of our pending application to join the U.N. What more could they want?
We certainly are more qualified than some of the tin pot dictatorship who do belong. We will continue to refuse any offer of a non-voting membership.
Maybe we should apply for reservation status instead.
Yours for Revolution,
Steve Swan, President
Wednesday, June 30th, 2010
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
PORTLAND, OR, June 30, 2010 – Rogue Brewmaster John Maier has brewed 21 different beers for the 21 years of the Oregon Brewers Fest. To honor the OBF and John’s “21er”, John brewed a one-time batch of an Olde Ale, called 21 Ale.
21 Ale will be available in black ceramic 750ml bottles in limited quantities and 21 kegs of 21 Ale will be celebrated by 21 of the Rogue Nation’s most loyal, long time beer emporiums across the country.
To kick off 21 Ale, a premier pour event will be held at the Horse Brass Pub in Portland on July 21st.
The list of beers John has made for OBF is below, although there are two “mystery” years that we cannot remember. The Rogue Nation Historian is offering 4 bottles of 21 Ale and 427 Hopoes (the official currency of the Rogue Nation) to anyone that can tell us which beers we poured at OBF in 1992 and 1993.
21 Ale is dedicated to Art Larrance and Teddy Peetz, the founders of the Oregon Brewers Festival.
21 Ale is brewed with 14 ingredients: 2 Row, Briess Amber, C-40, Wyermann Carafa & Rogue Farms RiskTM Malt; Willamette, US Goldings & Rogue Farms Revolution Hops; Simpsons Golden Naked Oats; Franco-Belges Carawheat; Molasses, Brewer’s Licorice, Wyeast Old Ale Blend Yeast & Free Range Coastal Water.
Rogue remains committed to saving the terroir of Oregon hops and barley, one acre at a time, by growing our own.
2010: 21 Ale
2009: Latona Pale Ale
2008: Glen Ale
2007: Imperial Porter
2006: Juniper Pale Ale
2005: Schwartz Bier
2004: Gone Awry IPA
2003: Skull Splitter
2002: Charlie 1981
2001: Brew 5000
2000: Incinerator Dopplebock
1999: Imperial Pilsner
1998: Brutal Bitter
1996: Imperial India Pale Ale
1995: McRogue Scotch Ale
1994: Dopple Mogul
1993: mystery #2
1992: mystery #1
1991: Chipotle Ale
1990: Saint Rogue Red